dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize