I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
