You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I love having hate sex.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
