Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
