For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
