I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
