So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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