halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
