So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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