did you get engaged???
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
do herpes really smell.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
