I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
