then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
