jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I will pee on everything he values.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
