After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
