Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You were trust falling into bushes
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
