I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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