My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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