SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
