There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
