I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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