Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
we're so committed to being not committed
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize