i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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You. Win. At. Life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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