Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
