Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
