is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
