I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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