Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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