that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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