By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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