I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
