Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize