i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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