I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Randomize
