North Korea, Best Korea!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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