R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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