All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
