Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
