Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
