I wish you could order shots online.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
