i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
