My balls are so social today.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize