So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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