I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
