When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
