Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
