Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
