I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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