I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
