how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
