Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
