we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
