There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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