just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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