found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You don't make any sense
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