Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
