I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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