If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
