That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
