I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize