I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
