: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
